Loving Mikayla Grace

Well it's been a LONG five days. I've been off of work since Wednesday. Tomorrow I go back to work and jump back into some normalcy. Unfortunately I'm sitting here writing this at 11:30 p.m. For the past month I've been in bed by 9:00 p.m. but tonight for whatever reason I can't seem to sleep. I took some Tylenol PM and I'm waiting for that to kick in. Tomorrow I go back to see the doctor. I'm scheduled to have another ultrasound. I'm pretty certain they won't see anything but my uterus. And I'm okay with that. Right now anyway. Tomorrow I may not be okay, but that's party of the grieving process. This is definitely not something easy to go through and it definitely has me asking lots of questions. Some of which are petty dumb, I know. I have learned many ways on how not to respond to someone who's gone through this. I.E. I hear you're really really fertile right after a miscarriage. What the hell!?!? Like having sex is first on my list of things to do. I love my husband, I do, but even the thought of him touching me in a sexual manner does not appeal to me at all. For the first two days I really didn't want him to touch me or be around me. But, that is what he did in his attempt to comfort me. Me know that, I said nothing to him and just let him be there. I've definitely learned a lot from this and I'm sure I have more to learn. One major lesson I've learned from this is that I can't do it on my own. I have to give it to God and trust in Him that in the end it will all be okay.