Why am I fat?
11:00 AM Edit This 3 Comments »After having good conversation with my mom this weekend I have done some serious thinking about why I'm fat. I've come to realize that I have not always been fat despite thinking I was. Don't get me wrong I was never the skinny girl, but I wasn't morbidly obese. I was an athlete in high school for crying out loud. In our conversation I expressed my concern about the harm and damage I may cause my own children by my being fat. My mom made a comment that really got my wheels spinning. She said she can remember certain times or events in my life that correlate with my weight gain. I'm sure the biggest event was the loss of my father in 2001. That still hurts today and will hurt until forever. This comment made me realize that I have not always been fat. If I don't want my kids growing up with a fat mom, it's up to me. I have to overcome being lazy and overcome soothing my emotions and losses with food. Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.
(two years old)
(Senior prom. I'm the one in the short red dress)
(senior year playing softball)
(freshman year in college)
(sometime during my father's 3 year battle with cancer. This was taken after my freshman year in college.)
(sometime during my father's 3 year battle with cancer. This was taken when he was staying at the University of Michigan after a stem cell transplant.)
(2003 College Graduation. My father had already passed away by then.)
(Another graduation pic.)
(A year or two after college graduation.)
(2006 Wedding day)
(Aug. 2007 1 year anniversary)
(Last September 2007 before a friends wedding. This is probably one of the most recent pictures I have of myself.)
3 comments:
Wow, this was definitely an emotional blog. Well it was for me. I remeber you like that, the Senior pic didn't evern look like you. Sorry, I'm having a hard time writing, the pic of you and your Dad just brought a flood of memories. Wow. I'm so glad you posted these pics. Having your Mom to talk to is great. I know why I'm fat, I do the same thing as you. I think your Uncle Matt has too. And it scares me. No one made us this way, we did it. We are the only ones that can change it, right?. You know we make up excuses everyday,that "I'll get started tomorrow" and "I have so much to do" well tomorrow may not come if we stay the way we are and we are never really to busy, we just talk our selves into it. I'm with you, we can change OUR selves if we want and I want to. I keep saying "when school starts I'll get back to it" well thats a crock, I need to start now. Uncle Matt and I need to push our selves we did it before. He told Zach the other day. " Man when you come home, I need you to get my fat butt out of bed and work me out" Zachs reply was" Dad you have to do it, not me" " I can give you the workout to do, but your the one doing it". I am there with you girl, I know we both havn't stuck to it but I'm pretty sure we can do this. Ready, set, GO!!!
If joining the "Y" is better for you then you should, but your Hubby needs to commit too, he needs to be healthy for your kids too when you have them. We need to quit hiding behind our extra skin, we are "BBW's" Big Beautiful Women. lol. We're just trying to get rid of the "Big" and be "HBW" Healthy Beautiful Women. I hope I didn't ramble, but I feel what your going thru girl, been this way almost all my life, I think I was a size "9" for a week. lol. Take care, be strong. I need to start writing things down, that really helps. love you
aunt cordi
What a great post. I can relate to you on several issues.
First, I want to lose weight and get healthy for my kids. They are all very active and eat very good. I don't let them eat what I eat (although I'm eating much better than I used to), but when they are old enough to make their own food choices they might follow in my footsteps and choose bad food unless I change. I want them to see me eating the good stuff that I make them eat so they know we all should eat that way.
Second, my dad died of cancer after a two-year battle. Even though it's been six years now, it still feels like it was just this year. Even though watching him go through what he did and then losing him didn't make me gain weight (I was already overweight) I think it might have played a large part of why you started gaining. Even though you are always going to miss him, instead of focusing on that and keeping yourself in an unhealthy state, start thinking about how proud of you he would be when you do lose the weight and become healthier. It is what he would want for you.
You are already on the right track by realizing why you might have gained the weight so you can start to change your mindset to a healthier one.
Laura,
Best of wishes to you as you try and get on the "right track". Maybe joining the Y will be the answer to getting you motivated and all, you just have to remember to push yourself to get there and use the membership (Jeff and I joined down in Mt. Vernon and only went once~ slackers! hehe) But whatever you do, just remember that you are a beautiful person inside and out and you can do whatever you set your heart and mind to! Thanks for posting the pics too:) Love ya ~Holly
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