What the hell am I going to do?
10:12 AM Edit This 10 Comments »
This is going to be an emotional week and post. AF decided to arrive today and I'm usually more emotional during this time. I'm pissed off and the longer I have to wait to hear what my MRI showed the more pissed off I get. I just don't what to do. I don't know what my options are I don't know what the next step is. I don't go back to the dr. until Aug. 10, which is a whole month after my MRI. From what I've read I don't know that I was to gamble with the risks of having my own baby. That leaves me with two other options. Surrogacy and adoption. Surrogacy would need nice, the baby would be our biological child. However, everything would be out of pocket, all the health coverage, not to mention paying the person who carry a child for 9 months that in the end would be theirs to keep. Just the thought of health bills alone I think this option is out. So that leaves us with adoption. I haven't done a lot of research on it, but I know it's expensive. Do banks give loans for adoptions? That then leads to me to fact that we have to be picked. We're both over-weight (I know I know, we can change that) and I have MS. I can lose all the weight in the world, but that doesn't change the fact that I have MS. And who is going to choose me!?!? I've emailed a lawyer to ask if these are factors that would prevent me from adopting. I know I'm probably being totally irrational, but it's okay it's okay to be irrational sometimes. I know cause my counselor said it was okay. I just don't know what I'm gong to do!
10 comments:
Hi,
I just stumbled across your blog. I hope you don't mind me commenting. I'm so sorry for what you are going through! I read an adoption blog called the r house. www.therhouse.blogspot.com
The writer is amazing, I really enjoy it. I hope you do to.
Best of luck with everything!
(hugs)
Deborah
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