Loving Mikayla Grace

WTF? One of my friends said this to me! She said, "You probably don't exercise because really you don't want to. You are in a comfortable place. You don't want to change." After she said this to me I wondered to myself, "Does she need to get her eyes checked? Can she not see how fat I am and how low my self-esteem is?"

I certainly am not comfortable with the way I am. Have you ever wondered why we can't just stick a needle in our guts and suck all the fat out? I want to do that. I know weird, right? But really I think like that. Or take a knife and just cut it off of myself. I know if I did either of these things I will die. But, I HATE BEING FAT AND I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF! I know you're probably thinking I need to see a shrink or something. But really I feel like my weight has been something I've struggled with all my life, even when it wasn't a true struggle. When I was in high school I used to think I was so fat. I was athletic and played sports all year round, but I still thought I was fat. Now I look at pictures of myself when I was in high school and I would kill to look that way again. I know that no matter what I do, I will never truly be happy with myself. There will always be something or more weight I can lose.

I'm appalled that someone would tell me that I don't lose weight or exercise because I'm comfortable with myself. News to the world, in case you didn't know, I'm not comfortable with myself and I want to change that.