And just like that....
5:20 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
our life has changed....again. Where do I begin!?!? How about with the email I received on Wednesday afternoon while I was at work. Here is what it said:
Dear Ryan and Laura:
I am so sad to be sending you this email. I got a message from Attorney Mary Smith stating the birth mother has decided to let the adoptive family who adopted her other child adopt this child also. I was unaware that she had even surrendered another child for adoption. I know this will be heartbreaking for you.
Fortunately I had not filed your application so I will send back to you the check for the court costs. I will also refund a check to you for the retainer minus the fee the credit card company charges. I believe it is 2% when you do it by phone but will check to make sure.
I know you started your homestudy process. If you plan to continue looking for a child to adopt then you should finish the process so you are ready to go in the future.
I wish you the best
Jill
What a crappy thing to get while your at work, right!? I was devastated. Not to mention I had just showed a friend of mine ultrasound pictures. UGH! We are so heart broken, confused, sad, and angry. This is definitely not something easy to deal with. I don't even know what to say or do. I mean we had a name. We have a room. We have diapers. We have bottles. We have clothes. We're ready to bring him home. Now what? Now what do we do with the stuff? I'm so lost. All I wanted to do on Thursday was go to church. Unfortunately, church isn't open on Thursdays. I truly believe that it was the holy spirit inside of me telling me and letting me know that God is with me and in control. So, today I went to church by myself. The hubby is having an evening with his friends. I was left home....alone. I decided to get off my depressed butt and plop it in church this evening. I was a little shocked when I opened the pamphlet to read that the service would be about God being in control even though your world feels like it's out of control. As I struggle through this I need to remind myself that there is very little in this world that we can actually control. The world is always changing, but the Lord is forever unchanging. He is in control. He provides, protects, guides, corrects, and cares (yes I'm getting this all from my notes.) My mom told me that this is not a time to walk away from my faith, but a time to grow in my faith and become closer to God. I must lean in on my knowledge of God and trust and believe in Him and know that this must be part of his plan.
Dear Ryan and Laura:
I am so sad to be sending you this email. I got a message from Attorney Mary Smith stating the birth mother has decided to let the adoptive family who adopted her other child adopt this child also. I was unaware that she had even surrendered another child for adoption. I know this will be heartbreaking for you.
Fortunately I had not filed your application so I will send back to you the check for the court costs. I will also refund a check to you for the retainer minus the fee the credit card company charges. I believe it is 2% when you do it by phone but will check to make sure.
I know you started your homestudy process. If you plan to continue looking for a child to adopt then you should finish the process so you are ready to go in the future.
I wish you the best
Jill
What a crappy thing to get while your at work, right!? I was devastated. Not to mention I had just showed a friend of mine ultrasound pictures. UGH! We are so heart broken, confused, sad, and angry. This is definitely not something easy to deal with. I don't even know what to say or do. I mean we had a name. We have a room. We have diapers. We have bottles. We have clothes. We're ready to bring him home. Now what? Now what do we do with the stuff? I'm so lost. All I wanted to do on Thursday was go to church. Unfortunately, church isn't open on Thursdays. I truly believe that it was the holy spirit inside of me telling me and letting me know that God is with me and in control. So, today I went to church by myself. The hubby is having an evening with his friends. I was left home....alone. I decided to get off my depressed butt and plop it in church this evening. I was a little shocked when I opened the pamphlet to read that the service would be about God being in control even though your world feels like it's out of control. As I struggle through this I need to remind myself that there is very little in this world that we can actually control. The world is always changing, but the Lord is forever unchanging. He is in control. He provides, protects, guides, corrects, and cares (yes I'm getting this all from my notes.) My mom told me that this is not a time to walk away from my faith, but a time to grow in my faith and become closer to God. I must lean in on my knowledge of God and trust and believe in Him and know that this must be part of his plan.
3 comments:
Laura~
We are praying for you and Ryan....we wish we could be there for you right now as I am sure this is a really hard time to be going through, but we are here if you need to talk. I am glad you went to church and glad the sermon had to do with what you are feeling right now. That is always amazing how God works, even though we don't always understand why the bad things happen to us, he is still there to guide you and help you get through this time. I know these words probably can't make you feel a whole lot better right now, but please remember we are here for you and we love you both. Love ~Holly
Dear laura, I cried this morning when I read your post. Tears come because my heart breaks for you and Ryan and because I am relieved that you went to the source of our comfort. It is hard not to be close in proximity to you, to give you hugs when needed. But I am glad you are going to our God for His care.I know from experience that things in this life do not make sense. i am glad that you have not lost hope during this time. God does not promise only good times here on earth, He promises to be with us during the good and bad times. Love, mom
Laura I am so sorry to read that the adoption fell through. I can only begin to imagine how much you had hoped for it. I know things seem bleek now but am confident that things will truly come around for you. Just remember it is always darkest before the dawn.
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