Loving Mikayla Grace

Worthless. Tonight the hubby said, "When it rains it pours!" and he wasn't kidding. We had a serious conversation. After our first financial news. The discussion was about us accepting the fact that we will not be able to adopt. Financially it is just not possible. If I knew then, what I know now, my life would be totally different. Between the two of us we have too much debt and no way can we afford to take on another loan or second mortgage. It's so hard to come to this realization especially when I've wanted to be a mom all of my life. My mom once told me that I had three goals in my life 1)be a teacher 2) get married and 3)be a mom. I have accomplished two of those three goals. I am so frustrated because there are people out there who don't even want to be mothers or want to be pregnant, getting pregnant and having kids. I want to be a mother and I have to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to do that. I just can't do it. I see no possible way, especially if I want to get our from under the rock of debt I'm under already. UGH! Life sure isn't what I thought it was going to be.